Ultrasound Update

Here's little Jonathan on the ultrasound at almost 24 weeks. It could be that only my family is interested in this, but I wanted to find some way for them to "participate" in this whole process even though they're so far away. Sorry, it's a little blurry. But to the expecting parents and grandparents, it's still beautiful!

My mom talks to the Wallflowers!

My brother went to a Wallflowers concert and for some reason decided to call my mom during the show. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but my brother ended up onstage and one of the Wallflower guys (sorry, don't know enough about the band to know their names and all that stuff) ended up talking to my mom on the phone. Naturally, my mom is very excited about this.



In other news, it's the 4th of July and I get no BBQ or fireworks over here in Taiwan! What a tragedy. Happy 4th to all my American friends and family! Please eat a chicken wing slathered in fatty, tangy BBQ sauce for me, and light a few illegal fireworks from Mexico. Might as well go all the way, right?

When two worlds collide ...

The day after Christmas, Ian's parents visited my parents. Oh my!



The visit took place at my parents house in Lakewood, CA. My mother and stepfather are the two on the right, and Ian's parents are the two on the left. When my parents first met my husband's parents, I was so nervous! You can't imagine two sets of people that seem more different. You can't tell from the picture, but my mother is covered with tattoos! In elementary school, I was the only kid whose mother attended the open house with purple hair. Of course I greatly appreciate my mother's unorthodox ways now, but I was still a bit nervous when my parents first met Ian's parents (I'm sure everyone feels this way when "the parents" meet). Well, the first time they went out together (they didn't meet until after Ian proposed to me because his parents live in China), nothing horrible happened. They all went out to the restaurant that Ian proposed to me at, and while I'm not sure what exactly they talked about that night, all seems to have turned out well. In Chinese culture, they're fond of saying that marriage is not between two people -- it's between two families. I'm not sure if that's always true, but I'm certainly glad that our two families are friends!

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas ... even though I'm from L.A. and I've never experienced one of those in my life!

Click on here to see a cute little Christmas ditty. Merry Christmas from Taiwan, everyone!

My mom and stepdad love me!

My mom and stepdad sent Ian and I a Christmas care package!



If you look closely, you can see Hershey's chocolate (in Christmas colors), two packages of Walker's shortbread cookies, Christmas tree tinsel, Christmas socks, two cute ornaments, two darling Christmas pins, three books (including two by Beth Moore), recipes for rum balls (my mom always doubled the amount of rum) and strawberry jello pretzel salad, candy cane tea from Celestial Seasonings, mini candy canes, and of course, a Christmas card. Thanks for sending me a little bit of Christmas in a box, Mom and Big Brian!

A Tearful Goodbye and A Season of Change

There's a chill in the air, and all around me scarves and woolen clothing are making their fall debuts. Fall is upon us! And I have to say, this special transitional time doesn't feel the same in Taiwan as it did in the U.S. Because of the humidity, that crisp fall "bite" in the air is muted. There's no leaves appearing in vivid reds, oranges, and yellows (not that I saw much of that in California anyway), and there isn't much observance of Halloween -- or any observance of Thanksgiving! I miss the feeling of Autumn in the U.S., that smell of fireplace and cider. But I've learned that in order to stave off the homesickness, I can make my own little "world of American holidays" in my apartment (if I can find the proper supplies). So yesterday I bought a few small pumpkins at the store and strategically placed them around my living room. It's not much, but it's something.

Speaking of homesickness, the departure of my grandmother (for those of you who don't know, she stayed with us for about a week) brought on a tough bout of it. Usually I don't feel homesick, probably because the deafening roar of the traffic and the bright lights of the city drown out any homesickness. Usually I prefer living in Taiwan and don't really miss America, but with three exceptions -- In-N-Out Burger, Mexican food, and my family. Especially my family! I had almost forgotten how much I missed them (thanks to the fact that I can easily talk to them whenever I want via Skype). Then my grandmother came and added all of her grandmotherly touches to our apartment. Previously it had resembled more of a dorm room with our stark walls and bare floors. We also didn't have curtains on any of our windows and had to remember to turn the lights off whenever we wanted to walk around in our underwear. Almost immediately after she arrived, she put up curtains, bought a throw rug for our bedroom, hung a painting on the wall, and filled the apartment with plants -- seriously, you would think it was the Amazon if you walked in here! She even bought us a TV, which we haven't had in months (hence my sudden interest in blogging). Even the nagging (which didn't come very often and was always dispensed in a lighthearted, grandmotherly way) was a welcome reminder of home. For example, I think she was a bit surprised that we NEVER cook. We just eat out for every meal (not entirely unheard of in Taiwan). Our kitchen is a mysterious corner of the house covered with dust and cobwebs. Well that's not entirely true -- it houses our refrigerator and we boil water sometimes. Anyway, sometimes our meals aren't very balanced. I came home with a pizza the other night and my grandmother said, "What about a nice green salad?" I had no idea where I would get one of those. Needless to say, my grandmother keeps saying she's going to start sending me recipes. Maybe Ian will try some of them.

I was savoring every minute of having my beloved grandmother nearby, and then she left as quickly as she came. I hadn't realized how much I missed my family until that premature departure. It was like ripping a band-aid off of a cut that hasn't completely healed yet. I thought I was used to being so far away from my family, but maybe that's something you can never fully get used to. After she left, I cried for two hours. I was really despairing because my dear family is in a place where my purpose doesn't lie. Then this made me question my purpose. "Am I where I'm supposed to be, Lord?" I think it's always good to seek re-confirmation for this question. And in the midst of my sadness, I felt closer to God than I had in a long time -- as if sharing in the pain of loss, although His was so much greater than mine could ever be, let me know Him more. "Is this the cross I must carry, Lord? Is this a part of me that has to die so that your desire for my life can live?" Although I love living in Taiwan, I don't know if I could sacrifice so much to continue living here for the sake of my own shallow love (it's so convenient, the food is good, the culture is interesting, I can make a decent salary and only work 3-4 hours a day) of Taiwan. But for my love of Him, I can.

For my love of Him. For His love of the Taiwanese people. This is why I am here, this is why I live. But my life hasn't reflected this in the past year and a half. There has been no sense of urgency concerning my purpose, and every day I've slipped further into my lifestyle of apathy. But with one tearful goodbye, my perspective has changed. If I'm going to carry this cross, then let it be for my love of Him or not at all! Why should I subject my family and myself to such pain unless I'm doing something of eternal value? As the seasons are shifting from Summer to Autumn, so must I change from living a life of apathy to one of lasting purpose.

The signs of Autumn approaching are beautiful to behold. Vibrant colors, the almost-forgotten feel of a wool sweater against your skin, and cozy fires. I like to think that the shifting of my attitude towards life is equally beautiful in God's eyes. What will the visible changes in my life look like? For one thing, I am going to be focusing a lot more on my Chinese study. I will be attending the Mandarin Learning Center at Chinese Culture University two hours a day Monday-Friday. I see now that this is the single most important thing I will be doing in my life right now, and I need to treat it as such by giving it the focus it deserves. Unless I learn this language, I won't be able to reach out to people. And even if I didn't have an eternal purpose in mind, how would you feel if someone lived in your country and never bothered to learn the language (and made more money than you just because they happened to be born in a country that speaks English). That's just plain rude! So for as long as it takes, a lot of my energy will be going into studying Chinese. In addition to that, I need to spend more time with God, and start taking care of my body more as well. Maybe I won't have as much time to blog (I'm not really sure what my homework load will be like yet). But whatever changes may come, I know that I can't go wrong if I align my actions with God's vision for me. Please be praying for me, as I know it'll be tough for me to devote so much energy to learning Chinese (especially when I teach English). Please pray for Ian as well, as he's looking for a new job right now. Thank you, everyone, for being so supportive and encouraging. I look forward to seeing what the new season brings!

Our Journey Thus Far -- Vacation Pictures!

Just to keep everyone up to date, here are some pictures of what we've been doing. The following are all pictures taken on a misty, slightly rainy day in Taroko Gorge (太魯閣), which is located in a national park in Hualien County (花蓮縣) on the central east coast of Taiwan.



This is a picture of the entrance to the Central Cross-Island Highway (中部橫貫公路).

This is the Eternal Spring Shrine (長春祠), built to commemorate the men who gave their lives building the Cross-Island Central Highway.


Now I'd like to interrupt these images of beauty with another bit of culture shock my grandmother was forced to endure -- the infamous "squatty potties!"

The rest of these pictures are from our trip to Jioufen (九份), a quaint little town located on a mountain on the north coast of Taiwan.

My grandma and I.


The view of Keelung (基隆) Harbor.

Jioufen is famous for it's tea. We had some of Taiwan's famous Oolong (烏龍) tea in a traditional teahouse.

And finally, the perfect ende to a perfect day -- a beautiful sunset!

Grandma's Culture Shock

Due to the fact that my grandma is visiting me, I'm still kind of taking a break from blogging, meaning that I'm not doing any long, deep, reflective posts. Wait a minute -- did I ever write posts like that? Anyway, I still like to post the occasional picture to let my five or six readers know that I'm still alive and well (because I know you were all so worried).


Here's a picture of my sweet granny! We took her to one of those restaurants with the barbecue in the middle of the table because we wanted her to have a totally "Asian" experience that she wouldn't be able to get at home. However, she instantly gave up on trying to master chopsticks. In this picture, she's defiantly brandishing her fork. So much for the Asian experience!

Through Another's Eyes

My grandmother is coming to visit us, and I can hardly sleep for the excitement of it all! Aside from Ian's parents, who live in Asia, this is the first family member that is actually stepping out of their comfort zone to visit us. Although I think Asia is an amazing place, I also understand that when most Americans think of going on vacation, they see visions of Paris and wine, Holland and cheese, or Venice and romance -- not Taiwan and the Unknown! Our families (again, with the exception of Ian's parents) are no different. Much of my family regularly gallivants around Europe but almost none of them have set foot in Asia, or have ever desired to! It's hard for me to understand this, as I tend to think the more different a culture is from mine the more fascinating it is. Why would I want to go to England when they speak the same language as me? Where's the excitement in that? I guess I'm just weird.

Partially though, I think the idea of comfortable living existing outside of Western cultures is more readily accepted by people of my generation. There are some older expats living in Taiwan, but not too many people from my grandma's generation. Most of the people I talk to from my grandmother's generation identify deeply with their country. They're proud to be Americans, sometimes fiercely patriotic. I on the other hand, rarely think of myself in terms of being "American." I don't believe that America is the best country in the world where liberty always reigns and freedom always rings. This may sound terrible to some, but I believe many people from my generation are becoming a bit cynical about the whole idea of America being the ideal country, maybe because we're disillusioned with the current administration (I'll keep my mouth shut here because I have no intention of making this a political blog, and I don't want to upset any of my readers who happen to like the current administration). Also, the world is getting substantially smaller. People of my generation have been exposed to so many other cultures and ways of living, and we can no longer easily accept that the American way is always the right way. I actually get quite annoyed when I hear comments like, "I can't believe the way these people live!" or "This country is so backwards!" Now, let me take a moment to make amends to anyone that I may have just offended. No, I don't believe that all Americans are arrogant and ethnocentric, I just think that America tends to shield itself from the rest of the world at times. It's easy to live in America and never think about what's happening in the rest of the world -- I know I did. And no, I don't like President Bush, but I still love Jesus and praise God, I think I'll still get into heaven!

Back to my grandmother and her generation. When Ian and I were preparing to move to Taiwan, I kept trying to get my family used to the idea of us living there permanently. I'm not quite sure if they've fully accepted it yet. They keep making comments about how we're young and having fun right now, not being serious about our careers yet. Sometimes this annoys me, because I take my career quite seriously. But I understand that it's more that they want to believe that we're just having fun right now. They love us dearly, and maybe this is the most that they can let go of at the time. But I'll never forget a comment my grandmother made to me one night amid scattered belonging and open suitcases ( I was getting ready to leave). I lost my temper because I felt that my family wasn't respecting my "vision" for my future, and I defiantly stated, "I'm going to raise my children in Taiwan. I want them to have a broader world view then what they could get here." Then my grandma said, "Do you want your kids to be American or Chinese?" I was a bit taken aback, because the thought that I would ever have to choose never occurred to me. I didn't really think it mattered, to tell the truth. I just thought they should be world citizens, as trite as that sounds. But my grandmother didn't say these words to be spiteful. To her, this was an important question. She's loyal to her country (not a bad thing), and thought I and my family should be too. She was afraid that I was giving up more than I could fully comprehend at my young age, and maybe she was right.

I love living in Taiwan, but sometimes I miss America. The other day I ate some french fries that had mustard and ketchup on them, an unlikely combination in Taiwan! I lowered my face and took a deep whiff --- It smelled like the Fourth of July. During Mid-Autumn Festival when the air was smoky with the scent of barbecue, it smelled like Memorial Day. If a breeze begins to blow, for a second I can fool myself into thinking I'm feeling the ocean breeze coming in from the coast again (I grew up in Southern Califronia, for those of you who don't already know). Sometimes when I see children playing in tiny parks, a minuscule oasis in this urban maze of concrete, I think of the summers I spent barefoot running through sprinklers, and I pity these children that don't know the feel of fresh lawn beneath their toes. This is the America in me that I can't seem to shake, and a part of me grieves the loss of it. And although my children will gain a broader world view and a second language, they will also lose things -- something my grandmother understood and tried to convey to me.

God has a plan for me in Taiwan, and I'm where I belong. And I know that above all things, my citizenship is in heaven, not any country here on earth. But as I prepare the house for my grandmother's arrival, some fears keep surfacing in my mind. Will she have aged since I last saw her? Will I be different in her eyes? Will we have nothing to talk about? What will Taiwan, my home, look like in her eyes?

As I mentioned before, no one in my family has ever had a desire to go to Asia. They all decided to wait awhile to see if we were really serious about living here before they endured the "hardship" of traveling here to visit us. I've been asking myself, what does Taiwan look like through another's eyes? It used to be new to me, but it's not anymore. The smell of incense and stinky tofu in the air is no longer a source of excitement -- it's just home. I can't wait to be reminded of what it's like to be shocked by Asian culture, to experience the surprises all over again through another's eyes!

A Visit from My Super Cool In-laws

One of the benefits of Ian's parents living in China is that we actually have some family that isn't located on the other side of the world. Their visits are always a welcome blessing! Feel free to check out their website.


Dave and Wendy about to chow down at the Korean BBQ restaurant we took them to.


A shot of the food at the restaurant. You'll notice that many restaurants have a little mini BBQ built into the table here. I never encountered this in the United States (although I'm sure they have them somewhere), and I expect that it's due to the lawsuits that could incur. Just use your imagination -- "Daddy, what happens if I touch this grill ..."


We walked to the flower market near our house the next day.


A gardener squatting for some reason unbeknown to me.


Beautiful flowers that I refrain from buying because I know I would just end up killing them.